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| Taken by Cally Declan at High School Camp in June |
Truly, how? I'm back from camp. I suppose that's where to start. I have been postponing this post... I have been busy, for one, and just don't know if I have all the words to say for another. Camp was... amazing. Actually, let me rephrase that. God was amazing. In ever weakness, He was strong. In every heartache, He was there alongside me. In every triumph...well, every triumph was certainly His.
How can I explain fully the greatness of God? I can't. Yet every moment I was relying on just that. Who is God? I know just bits and pieces even now. God is faithful. I saw that in the millions of stars and seeing Saturn through the telescope, and I saw it as I cried at my incompetence in the bug-filled shower. I saw it in the Spirit-filled discussions, in the laughter of my girls, and even in the bloody knees and broken souls.
I can't say it enough. I couldn't have done it without God's faithfulness. If you ever need to know how incapable you are (and we all should find this out at some point...it's truly humbling), go and be a camp counselor. Because there are questions you can't answer. There are trials you don't know how to deal with. There are emotional and spiritual battles in which you are helpless to defend yourself. But guess what?
God is our sword and our shield, our fortress and our deliverer.
How amazing is that? Seriously. God is so good.
And I cannot fathom it. This stark contrast between the vastness of God and the hollow, tiny, broken vessel that is me is humbling and joyous and full of such grace and power and majesty and God...God, God is the only thing left.
That's what camp teaches me over and over again. I can't. He can. I am broken. He is whole. I am empty. He is fullness. I am darkness. He is light.
Is that not glorious? I can't bend my mind around this thought. It is marvelous and yet so practical. And best of all? It is unchanging. God never changes. He never fails.
And so I sing it, hard, into the star-filled sky, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders / Let me walk along the waters / Wherever you will call me / Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander / And my faith will be made stronger / In the presence of my Savior!"
uhhhh. wow. the feels. i love camp so much. i wish i could live there. i totally and completely get this post, and i love it <3.
ReplyDeletethanks for this, hannah joy.
xoxo
ms
YEAH MAN. So much feels. I love camp too... and man, it is totally crazy how God works. I am amazed by his majesty. Really... no words.
DeleteThank YOU, Mary!
God IS good. And it's pretty awesome that we can do all things who him who gives us strength.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
DeleteThis realization (He never fails) came upon me too, when I went to a youth conference mid-June and I attended a prayer through song class. I don't listen to as much Christian music as I'd like so I when I went in I only knew one song (I think it was "Lord, I Need You). And then I learned Oceans, and I literally began to tear up because with everyone singing, you can think about the lyrics and it was just beautiful.
ReplyDeletexoxo Morning
I love "Oceans" especially when there are tons of people singing it. It is so powerful! Good to hear from you, Morning!
DeleteI agree with Morning, some Christian songs make me just want sit down and break down. And sometimes I do. Camp sounds beautiful <3 there've only been a few times i've felt like that, but i wish i could relive those moments every day for the rest of my life. they're lovely <3
ReplyDeleteUgh, I know! I was really hit hard with some Rich Mullins songs today, since we watched a movie about him. Pretty powerful. Camp is incredible, but only in the incredibleness of Christ. And the funny thing we don't really realize all the time is that Christ is in the graffiti and city lights as much as He is at camp. Pretty crazy.
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