To Addy

From Pinterest

 

Chaos in my brain.

Like a blistering hot snowstorm freezing holes in my sandals,

I can’t even hear myself in the frenzy of voices.

‘Cause I went from chasing the broken tough girl down the hill,

To chasing an answer up the hill,

And it’s still silent from the One I want to speak.

So my heart and my soul and my brain unify in their cry,

Answer me, please answer me.

Oh, God of my salvation, I’m not ready for the answer.

So I weep. On my bed, on my own, I tear myself apart,

‘Cause I just keep messing things up.

And in the middle of my unpracticed hands doing self-surgery,

You come.

Whatever words the Spirit spoke as you sat inside, you listened.

And so you made your way out into the recesses of your calling,

You knocked and you entered.

And maybe you couldn’t see the blood on my hands that was so visible to me,

Maybe you couldn’t see the pool of anguish or the broken bones,

But you could see the trails of tears down my face and my red-rimmed eyes.

Still, you didn’t comment. You sat, and in the comfort of quietude,

My fear seemed less of a giant beast to fight.

I needed you. Not that I would ever admit it then, but now I see the blackness

Creeping upon me like a storm of wrath, while, I, unknowingly, let it come.

And you, unafraid of darkness, brought light.

For God so loved this girl that He hung the moon in this night,

A reflection holy, innocent, marvelous, and bright,

And I followed it Home.