God is Good

I say God is good.

The veil was torn top to bottom,

The thickness of sin and the separation from God

Obliterated

With that final breath.

I say God is good.

Why do you call me ‘good’? For no one is good except God alone.

I have no good apart from you.

I say God is good.

The testimony is my lungs,

Expanding as they inhale another grace-given breath,

And my eyes, still blinking, still seeing, opening this morning,

Ready to close again, to open again,

My heart, beating away,

I’m alive.

I say God is good.

The promise is in the fierce and firm belief that death

Has no hold

Over me.

For, sick with sin, I was drowning, I was dying with every breath,

Seeing but the dullness of the created world, but the fallenness,

Only the lies and nothing of truth,

For I had blinded my eyes to it, longing only for darkness.

Sinner. Wretched, filthy, hopeless sinner, your justice has come.

In that very justice, in that very judgment of sin,

I say that God is good.

For without judgment, sin reigns on,

But I am sick of it. I am sick of the darkness,

I am sick of the spots and blemishes, the imperfect, rotting souls,

I am sick of living half-alive.

And so justice must be done.

I must die to pay the debt I owe, for I have sinned against God and against man.

Yet I stood in the courtroom and I closed my eyes and waited for the sentence to be spoken,

For the axe to fall,

But it never came and when I opened my eyes I saw before me a Lamb standing,

As though it had been slain, and as though it had risen again,

Reaching out pierced hands, saying, “Touch me,

Your redemption has come.

I have paid in full.”

So I say God is good.

Not good like the person I thought that I was,

But holy and true and perfect and righteous,

Just and gracious and merciful and wrathful and beautiful,

Pure and faithful and patient and good.

And eyes washed with His spit, I finally see,

Hands washed with His blood I am finally clean,

By His wounds, I am finally free.

So I can say, with the multitude, with the host of heaven,

By the power of the one true God, the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and all that is within them,

The Author and Perfector of our Faith,

The Prince of Peace, the Everlasting Father,

The Holy One, Jehovah Jireh,

The Perfect Lamb of God,

This God is good.  

Consuming Fire

I was a blaze of fire,

A pile of gas-covered kindling,

And the match was dropped.

And I burned so uncontrollably hot that the flames licked at the walls,

And so we threw water on the fire and squelched it,

And I stepped back, dripping and wondering what

On earth

I had done wrong.

I want to be on fire. I want to be passionate and zealous.

I want to look in the distance and always see the hope dancing on ahead—

But we were scared.

I was scared. Because fires can be warm and good,

But they can destroy and consume,

And I was burning fast like a wildfire, hungry for change.

Oh God, oh God, oh God,

I want to be more than a fire that burns for a while,

Then goes out and leaves only smoke behind.

I don’t want to burn,

And yet I do, I do.

For the fire that rages through my soul and courses through my veins

Destroys the dead trees that bear no fruit.

It opens up the barren womb of the pinecones so that they may bring forth life again.

It rids me of distractions and curling, suffocating weeds,

But the rocks remain.

And by the power of God, these very rocks will cry out,

Proclaiming that Christ never changes, He stays the same.

I’m willing to burn for that.

Because when the soil is tilled again, it shall be more fertile than before,

And roots will grow deeper and stronger.

These trees will stand firm beneath the storms,

These trees will bear fruit.

So I shall burn,

And I shall burn unapologetically,

For this fire was not of my own making or created by my own breath,

This fire was placed in my heart before I was even born,

Knowing that I would struggle even to take that first breath.

Oh Lord, teach me to burn, but not burn up,

To lead but to surrender,

To hold firm to hope and to stand fast on truth,

Plant a courage within me that is stronger than my selfish will,

And a pure heart to beat in my chest.

For unattended, the fire will destroy all that I hold dear,

But under your mighty hand it will preach your truth.

For you, oh Lord, are a consuming fire.  

Alive

I think that I forgot that I’m alive.

This breath that enters my lungs is a gift,

And when my eyes flutter open in the morning,

Would that I could see only that I am blessed beyond compare.

There is a girl who sits in darkness, on the threshold of death itself.

She makes a blood pact with her wrists, spilling bright red life.

The door is stained with it, but death will not pass over,

Because it is an invitation, saying that the Passover Lamb was not enough,

Not enough to hold back death’s embrace.

So she lets it come, nearer and nearer,

Until there is no life in her hollow eyes, underlined with shadows,

No brilliant wonder when her lungs fill with air and then let out poison.

If this is life, she says, I do not want it.

But I have life.

I run barefooted through the snow and it stings,

And I laugh and throw my hands up to meet the cold wind.

I have life.

I have life because mine was bought.

And if I could live every day proclaiming that,

If I could breathe every breath in victory,

If I could let the light which is embodied within me shine forth—

Would she see?

Would her sinews and bones remember that they were created to live abundantly?

There is life, my girl. There is life, and it is pouring forth from my fingertips when I move in the slightest,

There is life and it breaks through my lips like song.

There is life because death did not win,

Because a Savior took his last breath on a cross and died,

But the tomb was empty of his bones and he appeared,

Not as a ghost, but alive, with red scars on his hands and his feet and in his side,

Showing where he laid down his life for you to live a life alive.

That is my lifesong—that death has no more dominion,

Hell has no more power.

The Resurrection and the Life has come,

And the tomb

Is

Empty. 

I'm It

I got tagged like a bazillion times. 

Just kidding, I only got tagged three times. 

One was a New Years tag, which I failed at doing and now I don't feel New Years-y. I'M SORRY BELLA. I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU SOMEHOW. 

So I figured, when I found myself double tagged for the Liebster Award, I'd better do it or else I will get out of the Liebster-y mood. Or something. 

Okay.

On ho.

So....something about rules. The ones who tagged me are Abby and Sam Denby and Bella Rose tagged me with the New Years one so everyone should go over there and tell her she's awesome and I'm lame. Okay? Okay. Now there are some other rules but yeah. Everybody skips the rule section anyway, right? ;-)

So onto the questions! 

Sam Denby's Questions:

1. Your Favorite Album? 

That is kind of a hard one because I looove music. Probably at this point my favorite album is The Burning Edge of Dawn by Andrew Peterson. Just....*dies* But I also love When I Was Younger by Colony House, Leonard the Lonely Astronaut by Andrew Osenga, Atlas: Year One by Sleeping At Last and like a bazillion others. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE. *Cries* 

2. Favorite Book?

Excluding the Bible... The Return of the King probably. Or Island of the World by Michael D. O'Brien. Or The Warden and the Wolf King by Andrew Peterson. It's really hard to decide. 

3. If You Could Only Drink One Drink For the Rest of Your Life, What Would it Be?

Easy peazy. Water. Water is both delicious and essential. 

4. Fruit or Vegetable? 

THIS ONE IS HARDER THAN IT SHOULD BE. I LIKE VEGGIES. BUT I ALSO LIKE FRUIT. Ya know, I don't know if I'd live without salad. But it would also be a miserable life without raspberries. Do they count as fruit even? 

How 'bout this: I'm seriously glad I live in a world with both. 

But if I have to choose...veggies. Though it pains me to say.

5. Your Favorite Holiday?

Easter. Because every single year it surprises me with the awesome weight of glory that is within the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. It's amazing. And I will never get tired of saying, "He is Risen." :-)

6. If You Could Dance With Anyone, Who Would You Dance With?

My Future Husband. Whoever that is. 

7. Main Reason Why You Started Your Blog?

Because I have words. And I guess I just decided to share them??? I know, I don't have very good reasoning. I guess I thought it'd be fun, and pray that it is edifying. 

8. What Are Your Top 3 Moments of 2015?

1. Seeing Andrew Peterson live in concert. That was fantabulicious. 

2. Going to camp. The whole thing.

3. Just....spending time with God. On the whole. I feel like I've grown a lot closer to Him this year.

9. Who Did You Hug Last?

Adelaide and Dally. BECAUSE THEY HAD TO LEAVE AND SO I SAID GOODBYE. 

10. What Makes You Happy No Matter What?

The wealth of God's promises. 

11. Cheese or Crackers?

BUT THEY'RE BOTH SO GOOD TOGETHER! But cheese. All kinds of cheeses. I like exotic ones. :-D 

Abby's Questions:

1. Last Song You Listened To?

"Knew Me Well" by Roo Panes. Because Cally linked to it on her post. 

2. Favorite Children's Book?

Counting ONLY picture books (because children's books in general...I like a bazillion)... I think my favorite is....ugh this is hard. XD I love picture books. So it's a toss up between The Friend by Sarah Stewart and If You Plant a Seed by Elly Mackay. Honorable mentions have to go to all the Paddington Bear stories as well as Corduroy because I love them forever.

3. Inspirational Quote?

And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in. --Isaiah 58:12

It's just meant a lot lately. 

4. Ice Cream or Cupcakes?

I'm not a huge fan of cupcakes. So ice cream.

5. If You Could Live Anywhere for a Month, Where Would it Be?

Do fictional places count? If so, the Shire. If not, Ireland, I think.

6. If You Could Eat Lunch With Anybody, Who Would it Be?

Being a huge introvert, this question actually scares me. XD But I think I wouldn't go the famous people route... I'd go with my blogger friends that I've never met before. Like Abbie and Treskie. AND EVERYONE. WE COULD JUST HAVE A BLOGGER LUNCH. Wouldn't that be fabulous?  

7. If You Could Instantly Speak One Language Fluently, Which One Would You Choose?

Chinese. Because I want to go there. And that would make things way, way, way easier. XD CAN THIS REALLY HAPPEN PLEASE?

8. What are Three Things/People That Inspire You

1. God. Always. 

2. Amy Carmichael.

3. My sister.

9. When Was the Last Time You Laughed and Why?

I keep laughing at these funny memories I have. But they're too hard to explain.... Let's just go with the last thing I laughed REALLY hard at. That was the SyloSynth recording of my dad all sped up. I was laughing so hard I was crying and gasping for breath.

10. What is Something That Simply Makes You Happy?

The Bible.

11. The Best Thing About Blogging So Far?

Comments and people. :-) 

HEY LOOK I DID IT! Hope you enjoyed the weird capitalization. 

And I tag YOU. Mostly because I think all of the people I would tag (or who would want to do it) probably have already been tagged. Also, I'm lazy. But if you want it, snatch it up! Here are my questions for you (and feel free to do one or two or all questions in the comments if you want!)

1. What is One Talent You'd Really Like to Have? (That you don't already have...)

2. What Character in Books or Movies Do You Relate to Most?

3. Favorite Middle of the Night Snack?

4. Last Thing You Heard Spoken?

5. Your Dream Last Night? (Describe in detail. Dreams amuse me greatly.)

6. Verse That Has Meant A Lot to You Lately?

7. Thing You Are Most Excited for in 2016?

8. Would You Rather Lose an Arm or a Leg?

9. Sweaters, Hoodies, or Coats?

10. Bizarre Fact About You?

11. When You Are Cooking, What are Your Go-To Ingredients for Basically Anything?

Okay. Have at it, minions. :-) 

Recycled Mistakes

I fell to shambles in the battle,

Torn down by recycled mistakes.

I lay in the mud and gasped for breath.

I thought that I was strong, but I’m not.

And now that there’s mud in my teeth and blood under my fingernails,

I know. I have fallen. Again.

I shall rise.

For I believe in a day where all of this mess will break forth into a masterpiece.

I believe in a day with no more sin to weigh us downward.

I believe in a day where all of the same mistakes that used to torment me will be no more.

Perhaps it is good to lay in the mud of the battlefield,

For I must realize that I am weak,

That I need something more than my tin can armor that I fashioned for myself,

More than my make-believe piety to get me safely through this life.

I need a Savior. Every single day.

There is One, a Holy One,

My Captain, my King,

Whose banner I hold clutched in my fist,

Whose name I have emblazoned on my soul.

This Man walked forth from the tomb.

He rose.

The dawn, it comes red with blood and grace.