Only You

by Cally Declan

The soil of my heart is furrowed and plowed,

And I stand at the edge of the garden and wait.

Would that I could see this place in its fullness,

When the trees have grown tall and the roots have grown deep,

And the flowers, all in bloom, fill the air with their fragrance.

But for now, I wait.

Words tumble from my pen like a fountain,

And I try to catch them before they fall into the earth,

Try to formulate something sensible onto a page.

Yet the words in the earth sprout clumsily, each green shoot easy to trample on.

These will bear fruit. These I will keep,

For they will not return void.

And when the words cease, I scribble my pen across the page in a different way,

Trying to form faces among the lines.

To imitate the world as I see it—beautiful.

But my hand is shaky and my lines respond, and it is but a broken image of the garden I know.

In frustration, I crumple my pages of words and drawings,

And I turn once more.

My instruments lay in the corner, oft-forgotten,

And I mourn their silence, but I fear the tuneless notes,

The crooked melody.

Still, I try, and I ache for perfection,

To somehow portray this unfathomable weight of glory that cries out words of redemption even now.

So I pray for words, or art, or a song,

To somehow be birthed out of these unskilled hands.

Anything, Oh Lord, anything true,

Anything honorable, anything just,

Anything pure, lovely, commendable,

Of excellence, worthy of praise—

Oh Lord, only you.

May my heart cry out not for the work of my hands,

But for you and only you.

I have no good apart from you, and this I know, though I still seek it elsewhere.

Oh fickle heart! Turn and see thy God!

So I stand at the edge of the garden and wait,

Not for words, not for art, not for music,

Not even for the garden to be in full bloom,

But for you.

And I know that you are coming,

Yes, even that you are here. 

To the Gate

Me and the unsurpassedly lovely Addy T. Photo taken by the unbeatable and unmistakable Dally.

Autumn leaves kiss winter’s frost.

I wait.

The breath of the morning is frozen

And my chest aches with a cough, but I run.

I run.

Just to the gate, not beyond,

For it looks lovely, sparkling in the bright sun.

Gently, gently, gently,

Says the morning with a laugh.

But I am young and stupid

And I would rather save gently for withered hands and crippled feet.

To the gate, then, I stumble.

Oh, aching lungs, would that you could breathe a little deeper of this purity,

Would that you could laugh a little longer,

Or sing a song to the Maker of this abundance.

But gently, gently, gently. You’ve reached the gate now.

These farmers’ fields spread out before me,

At the end of their bounty, but not the end of their beauty

For God has painted them in earthen gold,

Not to die, but to live and proclaim the works of the Lord.

I think my heart is full to bursting with their life,

Where my own had shriveled in the fear of loneliness and the dread of emptiness.

But now my weary, cold-weakened body drinks deep the cup of holiness,

And it is enough—Oh, God, you are enough!—

My being cries out in deep-seated hope,

For my resurrection eyes will always see fields full of gold, and I know,

I know that the Beginning is nigh.

Vacation Was...

So I just got back from Work Camp, which explains yet another absence from me. Should be the last one for a bit, but you never know.

And though right now it is Work Camp that is running through my head, I did promise a vacation post.

So vacation was...

A little cabin called the Ho-Hum...

Wild blackberries...

A final heave of summer... 

The lake. Every day. And little cousins...

Wet towels...

And man, God's breathtaking creation.

I think that was a good way to cap off the Summer. 

Is anyone else ready for Fall?

PFYTF: Opposites

Penny For Your Thoughts Friday: May 29 Edition!

My sister, the amazing Jess: "I just love making my bed. It makes it look so nice."

In the same moment, me, sitting at my computer: *loudly sucks honey off spoon and throws it into sink*

I think we're opposites.

And yet we're still best friends.

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts. I have been super busy! I will definitely be back on Monday, though, with the next Monday Madness. Maybe before, you never know. But I thought an apology was in order. *hands you consolation donuts*

I Got Tagged Like Fifty Million Times

Okay, only by Cally, Addy, Treskie, and sort of, half-heartedly (but I take the challenge) by Becca. And if that isn't enough to make me get on here and post, I don't know what will. ;-) Thanks guys!

FIRST. Here is the required picture.

 

I do not wish to restate the rules because I intend to follow them. XD That made no sense but still. Dude, I've got like a bazillion questions to answer.

 

So Cally's first.

 

1. Last dream you had? The last one I remember, which was the night before last, I was kidnapped by the camp nurse and taken on an airplane.

2. What do you normally eat for breakfast? Um, I fluctuate between like bagels and berries and random stuff. I am not a big breakfast eater solely for the reason that we hardly ever have breakfast foods. O.O

3. Any songs that you just absolutely love? "Come Thou Fount" is like my favorite right now. Also, "Depth Over Distance" by Ben Howard and everything Colony House always.

4. Current favorite post? What kind of question is THAT? I've gotta say, it's this one.

5. Thought of the day? Working together is the best sort of fellowship. Also, using the wood splitter is soothing.

6. Are you ready for summer? Not entirely sure. XD

7. Something I may not know about you? When I was a kid, my big brother convinced me to trade quarters for pennies because he was collecting quarters, Jess was collecting nickels and dimes, and I got stuck with pennies. I thought this was an amazing arrangement, adored my big brother's genius, and was terribly angry with my mother when she put an end to the transactions. How was my penny collection ever going to grow if I couldn't trade all of those useless quarters, nickels, and dimes?

8. When you hear the word Run, what do you think (of)? "YOU BETTER RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN." I have no idea what the quote is from, but that is what I think of.

9. What is the weather like right now? It is partly cloudy, the stars are peeking around and shining fervently, and it is not, as it was earlier, snowing or hailing.

10. What makes you smile? Hacky-sack. Countless other things but man. Hacky-sack. That has to be the most hysterical game on the face of the earth.

11. If you had the chance to travel through space, for any amount of time, would you? Yes. I would go for a year and come back a hundred earth-years later. Like Leonard the Lonely Astronaut. Though I say that because I will probably not go to space so I can say something crazy like that. XD

12. Describe how you feel right now in one word.  Joyful.

13. Do you have any favorite posts posted this week (by you or by others)? This post made me write a novel sized comment. Adored it.

14. Smell of rain or feel of sunlight? Look at the title of my blog. RAIN! ;-)

15. Can you? I don't know, can you go to the bathroom????   SCHMANKS CALLY! ON TO TRESKIE'S QUESTIONS!   1.) What's your dream job? Working in an orphanage and basically holding babies all day long.
2.) What would you like your first car to be? (if you already have one, what model was your first car?) HA about having one. XDDDDD I really have no preference. I'm not a car nerd. At all. I just need something that runs well and has good gas mileage. *shrugs*
3.) Doctor Who or the Star Trek, the original series? My only experience with Doctor Who was a weird night where we watched part of one episode and I had noooooo idea what was going on. My only experience with Star Trek is Star Trek: Into Darkness. I do not care to expand my experience on either fronts.
4.) What is your favorite word to write? Hereupon.
5.) What is your favorite word to say? PANCAKES.
6.) Would you prefer your guy to be tall or short? I think I want a tall guy...
7.) If you had a choice between being blonde or brunette, which would you choose? Brunette. And I am, so it all works out. Though blondes are very pretty, I do like having dark hair.
8.) Can you move all your fingers independently of each other? I do not think so. *tries it* NOPE.
9.) Are you a Marvel girl or do you like DC? Never watched DC anything and at this point, do not care for Marvel. Cry me a river.
10.) Did you know 15 questions is a lot to think up? Gosh. I did.
11.) Who said, "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”? I wanna say......................................................I wanna say I know, but I really don't.
12.) Do you like fantasy? Heck yes!
13.) Are you a leftie? Sadly, no. I do play hockey leftie.
14.) How tall are you? 5'11 3/4"
15.) If curiosity kills the cat, does satisfaction bring it back? I always thought curiosity only seriously mangled the cat.   DANKESCHOEN TRESKIE. NOW TO BECCA'S QUESTIONS.   1. Something you feel strongly about? I feel strongly about the term "etc." because folks, I hate to break it to you, it's not "ect." On a more serious note (though I really do feel strongly on that point) I feel strongly about Christianity, fellowship, and adoption.   2. A place you would like to visit someday? Hm, so many. Ireland, perhaps? China? Germany?   3. Cool, obscure skill or talent you have? I haz no skiwz.   4.Something I most likely don't know about you? I burnt some of the hair on my arms off the other day because we had a humongous bonfire.   5. Favorite genre of music? I like basically everything excluding country music and most rap.   6. What are you going to do with your life? Am I supposed to know???   7. How do you react in stressful/frightening situations? I don't do well with stress, really. With frightening, I think I freeze up, but it's hard to remember...   8. Is being right/correct important? That question can go several ways, man. I don't care who's right about the price of tea in China.   9. What is the last word you spoke aloud? "So" in the context of "I don't think so."   10. If you could change anything about your physical appearance, would you? If so, what? I would be short and have straight teeth I think.   11. Do you lean more towards introvert or extrovert? INTROVERT TO THE EXTREME sadly.   12. Slugs or snails? (Important question, that.) Snails. Slugs are gross to step on.   13. If you were travel back in time to any time period, where would you go? And this is not an optional trip. You're lucky you get to chose the time. Hummmm. I want to say either when Jesus was around (if I was guaranteed a meeting) or back to when my dad was a kid because that would be hysterical to watch. From the sidelines. XD   14. Did anything terrible happen to you in your childhood? My younger brother hit me in the head with a shovel. I think it's affected me terribly...   15. How fast can you run? About as fast as a sleepy turtle.   HEY THANKS BECCA. NOW LAST ROUND OF QUESTIONS IS ADDY'S!!!!   Where is home? I'm not there yet.   What do you like on your French Toast? Butter, berries, syrup. In that order.   What's the first thing you do when you wake up? Wonder what time it is, usually.   What does family mean to you? Either people you're stuck with or people you adopt. *shrugs* ;-) Family is the bestest.   Are cliches overrated? Mm, yeah, probably. XD   What juice is your favorite? Cranberry.   Does grey make you happy or sad? OH HAPPY DAY HAPPY DAY YOU'VE WASHED MY SIN AWAY.   Do you like minty tea or fruity tea better? I LIKE CHAI. I realize that wasn't one of the options but man. Chai is killer.   What is your opinion on slippers? Use them, my friend. No shame.   When do you feel that you really know a person? When you have seen them rolling on the floor laughing, crying, yelling, screaming, and feel comfortable enough to talk about anything around.   Do you like cake or pie? PIE. CHERRY CHEESE PIE.   Green leaves or winter barrenness? Green leaves, I shall admit. Though I love each season in its own right.   The ocean or the land? The mountains, then the ocean.   Do you enjoy running? I HATE RUNNING.   What gives you a reason to keep on living? Hebrews 12:1-3, Galatians 6:9....in a nutshell, Jesus Christ and the joy that He sets before us.   THANK YOU ADDY. Thank you everyone! And thank you for reading this. *wipes brow*   NOW I NOMINATE:   Aloisa Pearl Amy Bella Abbie Autumn Chloe Nine Maddy And anyone else who finds my questions intriguing!   Questions (last thing...*wipes brow again*)   1.) Favorite Bible verse? Or one that's been knocking around in your head lately? 2.) Favorite flower? 3.) If you had a hot air balloon, what color would it be? 4.) What do you keep in your purse? 5.) Do you like the smell of campfire? 6.) Have you ever laughed so hard you nearly pulled a muscle? If so, at what? If not, what was the hardest you ever laughed at something? 7.) Do you put real people into your novels and then feel bad whenever you read the very first page of published novels? 8.) Do you have a jewelry box? What is your favorite piece of jewelry? 9.) What villain do you most relate with? And what hero/heroine? 10.) Do you like to receive letters? Do you like to write letters? 11.) Open your book (yep, the one that you are writing) and go to the last page. What is the first complete sentence on that page? (If you aren't writing a book, pick the book that you are reading up and do the same). 12.) Do you journal? What does your journal look like if so? 13.) If you could magically learn a language (but only one) what would you choose? 14.) How would you describe your style? 15.) What does friendship mean to you? What does a good friend look like?   OKAY HAVE FUN NOW I MUST GO SLEEP BAI. 

Floors and Prayer

From Pinterest

Have you ever washed the floor? Not with a mop, I mean down on your knees, scrubbing one patch at a time.

Scrub, scrub, scrub, polish, scoot back. And repeat.

When you first see the floor, there’s a moment of internal panic because this floor is big and your rag is small.

But you kneel down, you take a deep breath, and you scrub hard.

It’s funny how much that sounds like prayer.

Prayer is sometimes a tricky thing for me. A lot of times it’s a, “Oh, man, it’s bedtime and I need to pray” type-thing, without really feeling the spirit moving within me, just feeling the urgent desire to sleep.

Kind of like scrubbing hard a floor that looks like it'll never be finished.

But that floor was finished.

That thought explodes in my mind, moving me with the utter awe of this--

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

I mean, how powerful is that?

It's like scooting back as you wash your floor. It gives you perspective. All of the sudden you see a little strip of clean floor where there was once dirty floor--you see the renewal and transformation of your mind and spirit as you are sanctified and grow closer to God.

Can we just take a moment to say, "Wow!"? Because seriously, guys.

That is amazing.

May we always pray with the hope of scrubbed floors set thick in our minds. 

PFYTF: Saying Goodbye

Have you ever thought about how saying goodbye most of the time means saying hello?

Tomorrow I shall say goodbye to the bursting aspens of my hometown...and say hello to the rugged, wild, and lovely fields of camp. I shall say goodbye to my family, and hello to my other family.

Now goodbye itself comes from the phrase, "God be with you." I like that. I like closing my eyes and running that around in my head.

"God be with you."

It almost makes you want to say "Amen" every time someone bids you goodbye.

"God be with you."

"So be it."

It gives me something to snicker about when words are thrown around. After all, everyone says "goodbye", and it is like they are unconsciously blessing you. It's quite nice, isn't it?

So, dear aspen tree, God be with you. Dear family, God be with you.

And hello, amazing adventure that awaits.

I'm stoked. And don't worry, the blog comes with me.

(Dude, that was hysterical, because I was just imagining like a kidnapping that happens....like the guy is sitting in an empty coffee shop on his laptop, typing away peacefully when suddenly a man in black arrives and points a gun at him and says, "Try to escape and I will blow your brains out. Stand up slowly and walk in front of me to my car." Laptop Man sighs, snaps his computer shut, and says, "The blog comes with me." Did that just completely ruin the mood of this post? Good, because it was too serious.)

(Another thing I was thinking about was how clapping can be either a congratulatory thing or it could be you high-fiving yourself. Just something to ponder.)

PFYTF: The Escape Route

I'm back with another edition of PFYTF!

Hi, I'm an introvert.

This means that though I have tried, I have not yet turned into an extrovert. The serum is not yet completed.....

My dad is an introvert too. He hates crowds, avoids people as much as possible, and, as I recently discovered,

Always looks for an escape route.

 



 I find this most hysterical because, now that it's spoken out loud, I realize that is precisely what I do. Whenever I'm in a room with a large group of people (particularly a large group of people I don't/hardly know), I take up the time that I'm awkwardly sitting in the corner trying not to be awkward by plotting out the exact way I shall exit.

It's especially amusing (and frightening all at once) when the room is a small one and there's only one door.

I'm gonna do a disclaimer here though.

I like people. I really do. Why else would I be a writer? People are fascinating.

And despite all appearances, I do enjoy social interactions, especially conversation.

I just have a mental block when it comes to starting one up because I'm painfully shy (it's actually quite literally painful, people).

But there is this innate instinct within me that goes,

"If I need to bolt, what's my best route here? I need to avoid as many people as possible but yet it also needs to be the quickest route I can manage."

 

*headdesk*

 

Introverts are interesting people, I promise. We just desperately need extroverts to help us along the way. 

A Life Post

I almost feel the need to apologize for a post like this. People are all like, "Pfffft you think your life is so important you dork." Well, two disclaimers. 1) It is my blog and you're the one who's here reading it, so if you don't want to read it you really don't have to, and 2) I don't actually think my life is important, but sometimes you just gotta...like say stuff that is sort of meaningless but also sort of important to you. Maybe. XD

Enough disclaimers. If you're still here, hey-o!

I'm gonna do a Currently.... type post. I think I've seen them on blogs but you never know, I might have made it up. ;-) This might be recurring or might not. *shrugs* It's alright.

So, currently....

Reading...

The Molehill Vol. 3 published by Rabbit Room Press. It's amazing, guys. It's so good. It's a collection of short stories, poetry, essays, art, and recipes by a collaboration of excellent authors/artists/chefs. It's been, like, EXACTLY what I've needed to read lately, especially all the thoughts on writing.

From "Something New" by Jen Rose Yokel and illustrated by Jonny Jimison

Listening to...

Other than customers ordering ice cream?

I kid, I kid. I'm currently quite obsessed (and I shall accredit this obsession to Jordy, since she was the one who introduced them to me) with Sleeping At Last's album, Atlas: Year One. The whole album (or collection of EPs as it happens) is simply excellent.

If you're still not convinced...

Maybe your light is the seed

And the darkness the dirt

In spite of the uneven odds

Beauty lifts from the earth

 

You're much to young now

So I write these words down

'Darkness exists to make light truly count.'

-From "Uneven Odds"

 

Writing...

 

Not as much as I should be. I'm trying to plug away at my Camp NaNo Steampunk book (though I'm failing miserably at meeting my word count goal), and it's actually going well. It doesn't look like it, because stats are stats. My word count is not high right now, but the story is really unfolding and the characters are amazing and I'm actually loving my MC, who I thought I would hate. So, exciting, but a lot of work. *grins weakly*

 

You got that right.




 

Studying....

 

Welp, my Bible Study at church just finished going through the life of Moses, which was intriguing, even if I came near the end of the study (I've only been going for a few weeks). It's so amazing to get together with a group of passionate young people and discuss the Bible, especially 'cause they're all so much smarter than I am and have such epic things to say. One thing that's been sticking to my mind is the unchangingness (I realize it's not a word) of God. He is the same God in the Old Testament as He is in the New. And He is good and just and loving and agh it just blows my mind, always.

 

One of my favorite verses that we were recently looking into is Deuteronomy 33:29:

 

Happy are you, O Israel! Who is like you,

a people saved by the Lord,

the shield of your help,

and the sword of your triumph!

Your enemies shall come fawning to you,

and you shall tread upon their backs.

 

Praise God that He is not only our shield but our sword. Wow, that's just so incredible.

 

Feeling....

 

Hungry.

 

What are your "Currentlys"?

 

Adios for now. 

Hullo, Hullo

Hey-o!

*awkward silence*

Ah, thanks, Gwaine.

 

Welcome to Miles in the Rain, which as you probably noticed is the title of my blog. I could tell you something sentimental and deep about the title of my blog, something like life is like walking through miles of rain and mud and mess, but in reality, I got the idea from the lyrics of a song. The song is "Caught Me By Surprise" by Colony House (look at me! A gif and a hyperlink all in my very first post!) which is my all-time favorite band. Check 'em out.

 

*takes deep breath* Sorry. You'll find that I ramble. Anyway, I'm an eighteen year old, recently graduated homeschooler with a love for God, writing, and many other things.

 

Anyway, I hope to get to know you.

 

These intro posts are harder than you'd think, really.

 

So bye for now! Hope to see you very soon. :-)

 

~Hannah Joy~